Peeing in the Time of COVID
It’s simple, almost rudimentary really… when you gotta go, you gotta go. Full stop.
Whatever you do, DO NOT get kidney stones. This experience no one wants — even the most ardent masochist. The pain these little f*ckers can inflict on you is not dissimilar to learning only decaf is left in the pot.
If you are however someone who enjoys a full bladder that decides on its own when it wants to expel its demons, then godspeed.
This might be where we part ways.
On Tuesday I would be at the hospital freeing myself of “the stones.” The Sunday before, a COVID test was required as part of the pre-op. Admittedly, I had no prior knowledge of what to expect, nor did I plan accordingly. Having never experienced either, let’s just say I was on the cusp of an emotional breakdown. I don’t do well with hospitals or tests. To this day, I’m amazed I got through elementary school, and high school, and college, and couples therapy… unscathed.
Thinking I would have more than enough time to get in, get it done, and flee the scene, I departed that morning a bit late. Once I arrived at the hospital, I noticed a string of cars in the COVID test line. Again, with no prior knowledge of what to expect, I didn’t sweat waiting.
